You can call me Serendipity. I had a little ol’ photo blog once upon a time, but then I got pregnant & then I had baby & then a husband & then another baby…
Somewhere in there I gave up on a photo a day. Eventually I also gave up on the whole working a job outside the home thing too, but that is a different horse’s tail. Funnily enough, I miss those photos a day a lot more than the old career. Mayhaps I ought to be getting the old blog back on her feet again, you say? Yeah I’m thinking I will do just that, but first…
Here’s the thing. Somebody told me the other day that I inspired her. Me? I don’t have a traditional job, I’m not in school, I don’t DO anything particularly. So, um, ME?!?? Seriously?
Well ain’t that some shit.
Here I was, feeling sorry for myself, bitching about how my doctor has basically told me that my way of being is causing the severe back pain I’ve been having. Ya see, I’m short & married to a tall dude but I shouldn’t be looking up or reaching over my head. Also I shouldn’t be looking down too much, like say at my two toddlers. Also I shouldn’t sit on the floor with them. EVER. I was told this was “the kiss of death” for me. Oh and then the yoga I do, specifically the back bends I love, are hurting not healing.
Ya know, basically black is yellow, the Sun is made of green cheese & everything will be just peachy as long as I look straight ahead, but keep my chin down, and don’t make any sudden movements.
Uh, yeah, ok. Right.
Did I mention my 2 kids? Big Boy, a strapping 3 year old who is the size of a 5 year old & weighs 50lbs. (no, seriously, he’s not tubby just HUGE), and Baby Girl, who’ll turn 2 this winter and alternates between worshiping her brother & clinging to Mama like a sock to a fuzzy sweater. They excel at getting me to pick them both up at the same time. Or both riding me like a horse any time I kneal down to tidy up toys, or climbing over furniture to jump on my neck. You get the point. I live in physical toddlerville, where getting headbutted is a sign of affection & sudden movements are needed for both my protection and my children’s.
*sigh* So here I am feeling like I’m stuck & useless.
But… BUT… Now I’m told I am someone’s inspiration. What? Why??! She sees me posting updates about going to yoga even when I don’t feel like it.
Yep. No biggie. Except I’m doing it. I’m taking time for me, my health – maybe working on my back. For sure on my stress. (Cuz y’all know, mommyhood is not a Zen occupation) If I manage to restrict the amount of chocolate & wine I consume after the yoga, maybe I’m working on a little weight loss… But what she saw was that I’m doing all those things for ME.
Which, means long term I do them for my family too.
And like that – I WAS INSPIRED.
So here we are. Honestly – I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m trying… Trying to be the best mom, wife & hell, the best ME I can be. I’m trying to heal & be whole. To be kind & loving & spread positive energy & crack a smile.