Deck The Elves!!

Deck the Halls with fecking elves Who has all this time? Pinterest the Elf. I’m so sick of these impish stares – How many days of “glee”, Elf on the Shelf? Why did we buy into this gnome? Just get the feck out! Elf on the Shelf! If only they just moved themselves Then I…

Is It Bathtime? (*Frère Jacques)

Is it bath time Yes! It’s bathtime! Don’t you run! It WILL be fun! Won’t you please get naked? Come, it’s time to get wet! It will be fun! In the tub! Time to wash you, time to scrub you! Up and down, all around. The soap won’t get in your eyes If you tilt…

*POP* Goes the Mom Brain!

All around in Toddlerville This mommy chases children! One by one they pluck her nerves *POP* Goes the mom brain! Now they’re jumping on the bed – And now they’re on the sofa! Then when she screams: “Just knock it off!” *BOUNCE* Onto mommy! A big cup for her coffee! One bigger for her vino!!…